Wagonmaster Read online

  Addie let out a frustrated cry and fell back on the bed. She heaved a sigh. He’d won again, but losing this battle had been worth the fight. Her body still hummed with arousal. Joshua still wanted her. But he’d probably wait until he was convinced she’d fully recovered. With that thought as incentive, she pulled a quilt over her and closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep. To her surprise, a drowsy haze crept over her.

  * * * *

  Josh climbed out of Addie’s wagon to find Jimmy’s wagon approaching. He put the potatoes and batter on the wagon seat and waved at Jimmy. Josh surveyed the other wagons, train members, and their activities. Some unhitched their oxen, others started campfires. Many headed toward the river, buckets in hand, anxious for the fresh water. Relief showed in their faces. Even the children understood the significance of having reached the river. The heavy gloom plaguing the train since the cholera began had disappeared. Now they just needed rest.

  Jimmy drove into an open spot a few yards from Addie’s wagon. He set the brake, climbed down, and pressed his hands to his back. “These blasted ol’ bones get stiffer and stiffer,” he grumbled. “How’s the missus?”

  Josh nodded. “Much better, but I’m afraid I may have to hog-tie her to get her to rest.”

  Jimmy chuckled. “That’s one tough little filly you got there, boss. I’m glad she’s better.”

  “I’ll start a fire. She’s already mixed up some batter for flapjacks and sliced some potatoes. I think she intended to fry them.”

  A look of surprise crossed the old cook’s face. “You mean she’s already feelin’ good enough for chores?”

  Josh grunted. “Well, she thinks she is. But she’s still pale, and I don’t want her pushin’ herself too soon. I told her we’d cook lunch. She wants to get out of the wagon for a while. I guess she’s got a case of cabin fever.”

  “Can’t say that I blame her.” He pulled the yoke off the oxen. “You get that fire goin’. I’ll wash up and get the skillets.”

  An hour later, Josh climbed into the wagon prepared to defend himself against Addie’s wrath. He approached the bed. She lay on her side, sound asleep. He sat on the edge of the bed, trying to decide whether he should wake her. Thankfully, the pale, waiflike woman he’d worried over for the past two days was disappearing. A lock of hair had come loose from her braid, and he pushed it away from her face.

  Her lids fluttered open, and she frowned. “I’m still mad at you.”

  He smiled at her. “Not for long. I’m here to help you come outside and have lunch.”

  Her frown slipped away, and she sat up. “Is it cold out? Should I wear my coat?”

  “It’s not too bad in the sun. A shawl will do for now.” He stood, reaching for her boots he’d removed from her feet earlier. “But when the sun goes down it will probably be the coldest night yet.”

  Throwing back the quilt, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. “That’s all right. I don’t care how cold it is. I want out of this wagon.” She took the boots he offered and hurriedly slipped them on.

  He found her shawl and draped it across her shoulders. “Ready?”

  She nodded and gave him a little shove. “Yes!” Her brows drew together for just an instant, but a beautiful smile broke across her face and chased the frown away.

  “What?” Josh had to know what could cause such a happy glow.

  “I’m hungry. My appetite has returned.” She put her hands on her hips. “That’s proof I’m recovering just as I told you.”

  Laughing, he turned to climb out of the wagon. “Good. Let’s eat.”

  Addie followed him. He caught her around the waist and lifted her from the top step to the ground. She breathed deeply, turning her face to the sun. “Finally.”

  “I’ll get your chair for you.” He climbed back into the wagon, returned, and found Addie standing next to the fire talking with Jimmy.

  “You had the boss right worried, little lady. Never seen him so—”

  “That’s enough, Jimmy.” Josh shook his head. “Here’s your chair, darlin’.”

  She shot him a questioning look, but said nothing about Jimmy’s ramblings. “Thank you.” Taking the plate Jimmy offered, she gave him a smile. “This looks wonderful.” She took a bite of the potatoes and hummed her approval. “Is there bacon in these?”

  Jimmy nodded, giving Josh a plate of food. “Yes, ma’am. And some onion. I used the bacon grease to fry ’em too.”

  “Delicious.”

  For the next few minutes, they all ate without much comment.

  Addie sighed. “I can’t eat another bite. I’m stuffed.”

  Josh frowned. “I thought you said you were hungry. You hardly ate half.”

  She stared at her plate. “But I just ate more than I have in the last few days combined. It’s a good start. I’ll save it and eat some more in a couple of hours. I’ll probably need to eat small meals more often for a day or two.”

  Josh didn’t answer, but he resolved to see she did just that. She wouldn’t get her strength back eating like a bird. The cholera had left her much thinner. While he and Jimmy finished the meal, Addie sat quietly watching the activities of the train. Several waved to her, and she smiled, waving back.

  Jimmy stood, tossing his metal plate into a small washtub. “I think I’ll leave the dishes for later and head on down to the river an’ see if I can catch us a mess of fish for supper.”

  Addie stood. “Oh! Do you mind if I join you?”

  “No,” Josh answered immediately. “You’re going back to bed.”

  She narrowed her eyes defiantly before she spoke to Jimmy again. “I’ll get my pole and net.”

  Jimmy’s lips twitched, and he covered his mouth to hide a smile.

  Josh shook his head and tried to reason with Addie. “You need to rest.”

  “How strenuous can it be to sit next to the river in this sunshine?” She started walking to the wagon.

  “Addie.”

  She ignored him and climbed into the wagon, only to exit a few moments later with her fishing pole and net.

  He stepped in front of her. “Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

  “I’m not trying to be stubborn. I just want out of that wagon.” She sighed. Her eyes softened. “I appreciate your concern, Joshua. I really do. And I’m very grateful for all your help. But I can’t bear being cooped up another minute.”

  The plea in those expressive eyes proved more than he could resist. He groaned in surrender. “You should take a blanket with you.”

  She nodded, her relief that he’d conceded written in her gaze. “You’re right. The ground is probably cold.”

  “I’ll get it for you.” Josh climbed into the wagon, grabbed the extra quilt from the end of the bed, and returned to Addie. Jimmy stood next to her with his pole and a large bucket of supplies. Tucking the blanket beneath his arm, Josh reached for Addie’s pole and net. “I’ll carry those for you.”

  The smile he received erased his anger over her stubbornness. She was so easily pleased. Little things like sunshine and fishing satisfied her. If Sarah had been like that…. He squelched the unhappy thought and followed Jimmy and Addie toward the river. Her braid, usually pinned in a bun, hung to her waist today, its tip swaying in time with her hips.

  Unbidden thoughts of how those hips pressed against his own, her legs wrapped about his waist, swam through his mind. He ground his teeth together. What was wrong with him? The woman was still recovering. He wouldn’t be making love to her anytime soon.

  And he never should have given in to his lust in the first place. Addie needed a husband, one who’d appreciate her strength and compassion. One who was strong enough to protect her from herself as well as the dangers in the West.

  They reached the river, and Addie chose a spot in the sun with a large boulder to her back. Josh spread the blanket out for her while Jimmy baited the hooks. Within minutes, the lines hit the water.

  Addie stared up at him from her spot on the blanket. “Are you
going to fish with us?”

  Josh shook his head. “No, I need to scout the area. Make sure we won’t be havin’ any company.” He thought for a moment and tried to decide how he should phrase his instructions. If it sounded too much like an order, she’d defy him just to prove she could. “Addie, you shouldn’t stay more than an hour. You need your rest.” He held his breath for her response.

  “I promise I won’t overdo, Joshua. I’ll just sit here in the sunshine for a little while. Then I’ll take another nap before dinner.”

  Relief filled him. He tipped his hat and winked at her. “Good idea.” He pointed at his cook. “See that she keeps her promise, Jimmy.”

  Jimmy laughed. “No promises here, boss. That little filly is more than an old man like me can handle.”

  Addie ducked her head to cover her smile. Josh chuckled. “I should be back in a couple of hours.”

  Josh returned to Addie’s wagon almost two hours later. She and Jimmy were not at camp. He should have known she wouldn’t nap. Heading toward the river, he struggled to keep his anger in check. He’d already learned that pushing Addie only made her push back. She was the most stubborn, hardheaded, aggravating woman….

  The scene before him eased his temper and brought a smile to his face. Jimmy sat right where he’d left him. He cleaned some fish and hummed a little tune.

  Addie lay on her blanket, sleeping peacefully, her hand tucked beneath her cheek.

  Jimmy cleared his throat. “She’s nappin’ just like she promised, boss.” He chuckled. “She’s been asleep for over an hour, I think. I didn’t have the heart to wake her.” He stood. “Now that you’re here, I’ll just get on back to camp.” He began gathering the fishing supplies.

  “Thanks for stayin’ with her, Jimmy. I think it’s time she ate somethin’ too. Would you mind warmin’ up those potatoes she liked so much?”

  Jimmy grabbed the bucket full of fish. “Sure will. Let her sleep a little longer. Give me time to warm them taters.”

  Josh nodded and sat next to Addie, careful to keep his dirty boots off the quilt. It was hard to believe that such a petite young woman could be so rebellious and willful, especially when he saw her like this, peaceful and pretty. The afternoon sun brought out the gold and red in her hair. Much of her color had returned. Her lips and cheeks held a healthy pink glow again. She was recovering quickly, and he sent up a short prayer of thanks. His heart constricted. Losing Addie would have been even harder than losing Sarah had been.

  His brow creased. He clenched his jaw and tore his gaze away from Addie to stare at the river. Why? Sarah had been his wife. He loved her. Why then, would it be harder to lose Addie? An obvious answer presented itself. He’d let her get too close. He’d come to care for her. He frowned. Stupid. That’s what he was. He wasn’t the kind of man Adelaide Jennings deserved or needed.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Josh’s gaze jerked back to Addie. “For what?”

  “For staying here too long. I really intended to go back.”

  Josh shrugged. “You promised to nap and you did.” He gave her a wink and grinned.

  She sat up. “Then why did you look so angry just now? What were you thinking?”

  “Nothin’. Let’s go back to camp. Jimmy is warmin’ those potatoes for you.” He stood and offered his hand.

  She searched his face, a question in her eyes. Finally, she placed her hand in his and rose. “I am a little hungry. Some warm cider would be nice too.”

  Josh gathered the quilt, shaking the grass and twigs from it before folding and tucking it under his arm. “It looked like you caught quite a few fish.”

  She smiled. “I caught two nice trout. Jimmy caught one.” Her brows furrowed. “Well, he might have caught more after I fell asleep. I don’t know.”

  He nodded and offered her his arm. Addie slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow. Silently, they walked back toward the wagons. By the time they arrived, Josh was already chiding himself for thinking how right it felt to have her at his side. It wasn’t right. She didn’t belong there. But damn if she didn’t make him wish things were different.

  “Those smell wonderful, Jimmy. Thank you for warming them for me.” Addie sat down in her chair.

  “No trouble at all, ma’am.” He scooped up the potatoes and offered the plate to her.

  She took a bite. “Mmm. Even better than before.”

  Josh realized she’d be thirsty. “I’ll get that cider you wanted.”

  He returned with the cider, relieved to see that Addie had already finished half the potatoes. “Here.” He gave the jug and kettle to Jimmy. “I saw some deer tracks earlier. I’m goin’ to hunt for a while. I’ll be back by supper.” Josh caught Addie’s gaze, but spoke to Jimmy. “Keep an eye on her for me, Jim. Make sure she takes it easy.”

  Addie rolled her eyes.

  Jimmy laughed. “I’ll try, boss.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Addie took another bite of her potatoes, watching Joshua mount his horse. Once seated, he met her gaze. He grinned at her, tipped his hat, and kicked the horse’s flanks. She stopped chewing. What did that mean? The man was so blasted confusing. One minute he was fussing at her, the next he was grinning. She shook her head.

  “Confusin’, ain’t it?” Jimmy chuckled, hanging the kettle over the fire.

  Addie swallowed. “Pardon?”

  “It’s confusin’ how he tries so hard not to show his feelin’s for ya.”

  “Feelings?”

  “Aw, now don’t you go playin’ dumb with me. You know he’s fallin’ for ya.”

  She stared at Jimmy, a little flicker of hope growing. Addie was silent for a moment, but the voice of reason squelched the silly daydream forming in her mind. “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill, Jimmy. He’s not falling for me.” Jimmy raised his brows, but she ignored his unspoken contradiction. “He likes me, I think. And I like him.” She looked toward the line of trees where Joshua had disappeared. “Too much, I’m afraid. But he doesn’t want a wife. He’s made that perfectly clear.”

  “Can’t blame him for bein’ leery of marryin’ again. The first time left him with a lot of scars.”

  She couldn’t help herself. “Did you know his wife?”

  “Nah. He didn’t start workin’ with the trains till after she died.”

  “She died?” Addie’s heart constricted.

  “Yeah, but he never really told me how. I think it had somethin’ to do with the Osage.”

  “Osage?” she queried.

  “Indians. Part of the Sioux. They’re in Missouri where his farm was. For the most part, they’re a peaceful tribe, but they’ve got renegades.” Jimmy poured some cider into a cup and handed it to her.

  “Thank you.” She sipped the warm drink. “I didn’t know how his first marriage ended, but I had a feeling it ended badly.”

  “Badly is an understatement from what I gather.” He shrugged. “But I think you’re just the kind of doc who can heal his wounds.”

  “Me?” That little glimmer of hope tried to flare to life once again, but she ignored it. “I don’t think so.”

  The cook pushed his hat back and looked heavenward. “Little lady, let me tell you somethin’ I learned a long time ago. You don’t get to choose who you love. You either love them or you don’t. The only choice you have is whether you want to hold on to them or not. Sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes it’s best for the both of ya to go your separate ways. And sometimes you gotta fight.”

  The philosophical side of this quiet old man surprised Addie. “How do you know when you need to fight?”

  “You’ll know.”

  She laughed. “You’re a lot of help.”

  He smiled, revealing a missing tooth. “One more thing. Sometimes fightin’ just means hangin’ on and bein’ patient. It’s kinda like fishin’. I’ve seen ya. You’re good at it. Once you got them hooked, you just hold on till they quit fightin’. Keep them close, but don’t try to bring them in too quick. They�
�ll fight too hard and get away.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Footsteps alerted her to the arrival of Helen and Mrs. Cooper. Helen smiled, her arms filled with a small bundle. “You’re looking much better.”

  “Oh, yes. I’m feeling much better, thank you.” Addie set her plate down and stood to face the women.

  Mrs. Cooper spoke quietly. “We were just going to the river for a bath. Would you like to join us?”

  Although surprised by the invitation, she wasn’t about to miss the opportunity for a real bath. “Yes! Are you sure you don’t mind? I’d give anything for a bath right now.”

  Helen laughed. “I know what you mean. We’ll wait while you get your things.”

  “Thank you. I’ll only be a minute.”

  An hour later, Addie’s teeth chattered as she brushed her hair out. She’d turned the lamp high and lit a second one, not for the light, but for the heat they provided. The river had been so cold.

  A movement sounded outside the wagon. The canvas rose, and Josh poked his head inside. “Jimmy says supper will be ready in about a half hour.” He frowned. “Why is your hair wet?”

  Addie tried to answer, but found it difficult to control the shaking in her jaw. “I went to the river to bathe.”

  “What?” His voice rose. “You went to the river alone?”

  Wrapping her arms around herself, she stood up. “No.” She clenched her jaw to stop the chattering. “I went with Helen Wheeler and Mrs. Cooper.” A violent shiver raced through her.

  He moved closer to her. “And now you’ve caught a chill.” Grabbing her, he pulled her against him, rubbing her back.

  She melted into him. “I’m just cold, not sick.”

  “Little fool. Damn it, Addie. I turn my back for one minute. How could you do something so stupid?”

  She stiffened in his embrace. Could he really think so little of her? “I wanted a real bath.”

  “You should have let me heat some water for you. You’ve got a tub big enough to bathe in.” He continued rubbing her back and shoulders, warming her through her dress.