Wagonmaster Page 9

  Her lips parted, and she drank another sip, grimacing again, but she didn’t speak. Mrs. Wheeler stood next to him, watching. She chuckled softly. “She doesn’t like the molasses.”

  Grateful for the woman’s pleasant manner, he tried to smile. “No. She doesn’t.”

  “Well, you just leave her to me, Mr. Reynolds. I’ll see that she drinks it.” Josh stood and handed her the cup. She took it and looked at him with motherly concern although she couldn’t have been any older than his twenty-seven years. “Have you eaten breakfast?”

  Her question surprised him. “I…no. I was plannin’ to eat with my wife this mornin’, but she….”

  “You should eat. She’s going to need you to stay strong.”

  Josh nodded. He wasn’t hungry, but he should probably eat something. He glanced back at Addie, her sickly pallor hiding the vibrant woman she truly was. His gut clenched. Maybe he’d just get some coffee.

  “Don’t you worry none. I’ll take good care of her.” She pulled the chair over next to the bed and sat down. “She saved my babies. I’d do anything for your wife, Mr. Reynolds.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Wheeler. I’m goin’ to get the oxen hitched up. We’ll be leavin’ soon.”

  She nodded, but said nothing. She put her hand behind Addie’s head, lifting it gently. Pressing the cup against her lips, she spoke softly. “Drink some more now, Mrs. Reynolds.”

  He couldn’t watch any longer. Seeing Addie like this was more than he could stomach. She was too strong, too full of life to look so helpless and weak.

  * * * *

  Two hours later, Josh sat in the wagon seat, staring out across the prairie. The mountains in the distance no longer seemed so far away. Another day, maybe two, and they’d reach the river and fresh water. And they’d rest. He’d keep the train there until everyone was healthy again. Especially Addie.

  Josh had heard Mrs. Wheeler’s voice several times in the last few hours. He hadn’t been able to make out her words, but she’d obviously been coaxing Addie to drink more of the medicine. If Addie had responded to Mrs. Wheeler, he hadn’t heard her. Either her voice was too soft to carry to him, or she was too weak to talk at all. His empty stomach roiled against the idea that she might not live.

  How could this be happening again? He’d lived through the death of one wife. Once was more than enough. And why did he think of Addie as his wife? She’d made it plain that this marriage was in name only.

  But it isn’t, a little voice argued. Not anymore. Did she still plan to end the marriage? If she had any sense at all, she would divorce him as soon as they arrived in Baker City. He didn’t deserve her. He wasn’t nearly good enough for a woman like Addie. But damn if she didn’t make him want to be.

  All this arguing with himself over it could well be useless anyway. She has cholera. She could die. Like Sarah.

  Josh shook his head and did the only thing he could do. He prayed. Searching the blue skies above, he spoke quietly, his voice no more than a whisper. “God, I know You haven’t heard from me in a while, but please listen. Whatever I’ve done…whatever I did to deserve this, don’t take it out on Addie. She’s a good woman. She’s got a heart of gold, Lord. She doesn’t deserve this. Please....”

  He wasn’t certain what else to say. It probably wouldn’t do any good anyhow. God had never seemed to listen to his prayers before. He just hoped, for Addie’s sake, He’d make an exception this time.

  The morning passed slowly. Worry was something Josh found unfamiliar, and it was taking its toll. Tense shoulders supported an aching head with a persistent throb at his temples. With the sun directly overhead, he stopped the wagon and set the brake. He turned and did what he’d refused to do all morning. He lifted the canvas that covered the opening behind him. Peering into wagon, he saw Addie on the bed below him. She lay motionless, still pale and helpless. He swallowed and tried without success to dislodge the lump in his throat.

  “She just finished drinking another cup. Now she can sleep for a little while.” Mrs. Wheeler offered him a small smile.

  “We’re stoppin’ for lunch. You should go to your family. Thank you for staying with her this mornin’.”

  She stood and stretched. “I’ll be back when it’s time to leave.”

  He nodded, but his gaze had already returned to the woman on the bed. His breath stalled while he waited to see her chest rise and fall. After a moment he saw it, but her shallow breath hardly moved the heavy quilt covering her.

  “She’ll be fine for a half hour or more, Mr. Reynolds.” Mrs. Wheeler had wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and was about to leave. “You should get something to eat.”

  Josh nodded again and let the canvas fall. He climbed down from the wagon seat, his body protesting having been in the same position for so long. His head still ached, and the pain in his neck and shoulders was steadily growing. He looked toward the other wagons. Many were still arriving at their resting spot. Jimmy’s wagon, the last one, lumbered toward them in the distance. It would be a while before he had a meal prepared.

  It was just as well. Josh needed to check with the other wagons to be sure everything was all right. He usually did this throughout the day, riding his horse between wagons and searching the area for hostile activity, human or otherwise. But he couldn’t do that while driving a wagon.

  Jimmy would have plenty of time to fix some vittles while he patrolled the area. He hadn’t eaten any breakfast, but his stomach still churned at the thought of food. It crossed his mind that he might be getting sick. Headache, lack of appetite, both could be early symptoms. God, that was the last thing he needed right now.

  He shook his head. No. Worry and a sleepless night caused this. He’d tossed and turned, thinking of how he’d rather be making love to Addie. Damn! He’d thought he was doing the right thing, letting her sleep. But if he’d stayed with her, he could have helped her sooner. Spitting out a curse, he headed toward the next wagon. Why did he always seem to make the wrong decision where women were concerned?

  Josh walked quickly to each wagon, checking with the families. Thankfully, no one reported any problems. At his wagon, Jimmy was just getting settled and starting a campfire.

  “I’m goin’ to make the rounds, Jimmy. I’ll be back to eat in a while.”

  Jimmy nodded. “How’s the missus?”

  Josh almost stumbled. “She’s….” He had to stop and clear his throat. “She still has a fever, but she’s drinkin’ the medicine. She’s not any better, but I don’t reckon she’s any worse.”

  “Don’t worry, boss. She’ll be fine. She’s a strong one, that woman of yours.” Jimmy returned to his work starting the fire.

  He stared at Jimmy. His cook was the only one Josh had told that the marriage was a sham, a ruse to make the rest of the train accept Addie. So why was he calling her his woman? Josh almost asked him, but he realized the truth. Addie was his woman, his wife. At least for now. Tugging his hat down further over his eyes, he looked back toward Addie’s wagon. His gut clenched again. A part of him wanted to stake his claim and keep her. But he knew it would never happen. Adelaide Jennings deserved a good husband. He’d already proven he couldn’t handle that job.

  He jammed his hands into his coat pockets and found his gloves. The wind had picked up, making the cold air bite into any exposed skin. He spun on his heel and walked the few short steps to the end of the wagon. Two men rode up as he pulled his saddle out.

  “We’ll check the area, Reynolds.” Mr. Cooper didn’t ask permission. He simply stated their intent.

  Mr. Fleming nodded. “Get some grub and see to your wife.”

  They tugged the reins of their horses and left without another word. For a moment, Josh watched them ride away but turned his attention to the saddle he still held. Mumbling a curse, he shoved the saddle back into the wagon. He sighed. Why did he suddenly feel so blasted useless? He walked back over to Jimmy.

  “Coffee will be ready in a minute.” Jimmy seemed unsurprised that Josh ha
d returned.

  Josh narrowed his eyes. “You put ’em up to it?”

  “Nope.”

  He waited, but his grizzly old cook refused to elaborate. Josh took off his gloves to warm his hands over the fire.

  * * * *

  Josh climbed into Addie’s wagon. He’d been gone less than half an hour. It appeared she hadn’t moved at all. Fear snaked through him. Wooden legs carried him toward the bed. He watched her chest for the telltale rise and fall. His own breath seized in his chest as if he could not breathe unless she did.

  There. The covers rose. Gritting his teeth, he rebuked himself for doubting it. He slipped off his coat and hat and tossed them atop the trunk in the corner. Grabbing the pitcher with the medicine, he poured another cupful and sat in the chair next to the bed where Mrs. Wheeler had spent the morning.

  He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. Still hot with fever, she stirred at his touch, and her eyelids fluttered open. “Time for more medicine, darlin’.”

  Her button nose wrinkled. “That stuff is awful.” Still weak and low, her voice sounded only a little stronger than it had this morning.

  He grinned. “I made it myself.”

  Her lips curled in a small smile. “Hmph.”

  “Come on now.” He placed his hand behind her head and elevated it while he pressed the cup to her lips. She drank several swallows and turned her head to stop.

  Josh took the cup away. “Are you feelin’ any better?”

  Her eyes closed for a brief moment. “I don’t think so.” She opened them again. “But I’m not any worse. That’s a good sign.”

  He nodded. “Take another drink.”

  She obeyed without complaint. He took the cup away, and she whispered softly, “Joshua, if I don’t get better—”

  Not wanting to hear any more, he cut her off. “Don’t talk like that. You’ll get better.”

  She sighed. “Please listen.”

  His jaw clenched. “Addie, you’re goin’ to be fine. I don’t want you thinkin’ any other way.”

  “I’m not any worse, so chances are good that I’ll recover. But I need you to listen. If something happens to me before we reach Baker City….” She paused to take a breath. Talking apparently drained what little strength she had. “Will you tell my father that I love him?”

  “You’ll tell him yourself.” He didn’t want to think about any other possibility. How could he go to her father and tell him that his daughter had died?

  “Promise me, Joshua Reynolds, or I swear I’ll haunt you for the rest of your days.” Her voice was hardly a whisper now, but her full lips curved in a smile.

  Josh chuckled. “You’d do it, too, wouldn’t you?”

  “And enjoy every minute of it.”

  He nodded. Recalling the promise she wanted him to make, his smile died. I’d rather you tell him yourself, but if you can’t, I will.” Josh didn’t want to talk about this. A change of subject was needed. “Drink some more.” He lifted her head again, holding the cup to her lips.

  She drank the rest and spoke again. “Thank you.”

  He raised his brows. “I thought you didn’t like the medicine.”

  A soft laugh shook her. “For the promise, Joshua.”

  He couldn’t say anything, couldn’t stand the thought that she might die. He put the cup on the table and pulled the blankets up to cover her shoulders. “Now you can sleep for a while.”

  “You know, I really don’t want to die yet.” A lump formed in his throat as she spoke. “I try never to let myself have regrets. And if I died today, I’d have regrets.”

  Her statement surprised him and compelled him to ask, “What regrets, darlin’?”

  “First….” She licked her lips. Heavy eyelids confirmed her lack of strength. “I’d regret not seeing my father again.” She closed her eyes, her voice fading. He leaned forward to hear her better. “And second, I’d regret not being able to make love with you again. Once was not enough.”

  His breath left him in a rush. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding it. Shaking his head, he agreed, his voice gruff. “No. It wasn’t.”

  Addie didn’t respond. In truth, he doubted she’d even heard him. She slept peacefully again, and he brushed a kiss across her pale lips.

  God, she can’t die. It just might kill him.

  * * * *

  Josh rubbed the back of his neck and rolled his head from side to side. His temples still pounded, and the ache in his neck and shoulders had only grown worse. They had been back on the trail for more than two hours now. Addie’s words echoed through his mind again and again. Tell my father that I love him. His throat tightened every time he thought about it. She couldn’t die. He’d never be able to face her father, who would most likely be on his sickbed, and tell him that his daughter had died.

  Once was not enough. A dozen times probably wouldn’t be enough. A hundred times; even a thousand. The woman was so full of passion and courage. To see her lying so still and lifeless, her breath so shallow…. It was tearing him apart. How had she become so important to him?

  Mrs. Wheeler’s voice sounded behind him again. Addie must be awake. He couldn’t make out the words over the noise from the oxen and the rattling of the wagon. As before, he refused to lift the canvas. He just couldn’t bear to see how weak she was, how close she was to slipping away from him.

  But the cover behind him rose, and Mrs. Wheeler peered up at him. His heart caught in his throat, fear gripped his gut, and the words spilled out in a rush. “What is it?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Josh’s blood pounded in his ears. God, please let her be all right, he prayed silently.

  Mrs. Wheeler smiled. “Her fever broke. I thought you’d like to know.”

  Relief poured over him. His headache began to ease almost instantly. “Thank you.” He returned her smile. “Do you want me to stop so you can return to your wagon?”

  “Oh, no! I’ll stay with her for the rest of the day. She still needs to drink the medicine.”

  “All right, then. We’ll be stoppin’ for the night in a couple more hours.” He tipped his hat. “I can’t thank you enough, Mrs. Wheeler.”

  “Nonsense. I owed her. Still do.” She laughed. “Probably always will.”

  Josh heard Addie’s voice, but he couldn’t make out the words. He raised his brows. Mrs. Wheeler understood his unspoken question.

  She laughed again and shook her head. “She’s just denyin’ my debt, as usual.”

  The canvas fell, and Josh was once again alone. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Addie would be all right. The tension in his shoulders fled. He lifted his face to the cloudless sky. “Thank you.”

  * * * *

  Addie’s headache was easing, but the dizziness still plagued her. She’d tried to sit up several times with the same result. Everything started spinning. She’d actually fainted the last time, when she’d never fainted before in her life. Her medical training told her she still suffered from dehydration. She needed to drink more.

  “Are you all right, Mrs. Reynolds?” Mrs. Wheeler’s voice carried a worried tone.

  “Yes, I’m fine. Please call me Addie.” She tried to give her a smile, but it must not have been very convincing.

  Concern shrouded the woman’s face. “Addie. Is that short for something?”

  Addie tried to nod but found it difficult in the prone position. “Adelaide.”

  She laughed. “Addie fits you better. Call me Helen. I hope we can be friends.”

  Friends? Goodness. It had been so long since she’d had a friend, she wondered briefly if she might still be asleep and dreaming. “You were right, Helen, I must admit. I’m not quite recovered yet.”

  A chuckle sounded from the woman. “Not quite. Is there an extra blanket or something somewhere I could use to prop you up a little?”

  “Bless you, Helen. Yes. The big trunk in the corner should have one right on top.”

  Helen retrieved the blanket and helped
her lean forward enough to wedge it beneath her pillow. Even with Helen’s support, dizziness assailed her. It took a moment to regain her equilibrium. “Thank you. It feels good to sit up, even just a little.”

  “Feels good? You’re dizzy again. How could that feel good?” Helen’s brows drew together, her face stern with disapproval.

  Addie smiled. “I was dizzy, but I’m all right now. And I’ve been lying flat on my back for days. It feels good to sit up.”

  Helen grinned. “You’ve only been sick since this morning, maybe part of the night.”

  Surprise filled her. “Really? I feel like it’s been days. I suppose I’m just not used to lying abed.”

  Helen filled the cup and handed it to Addie. “Do you need me to help?”

  “Only if you want to drink this for me.” Addie held the cup. She was sorely tempted to refuse her request. But the dizziness proved that she needed more. Although any liquid would probably help, the salt and sugar combination would work faster than anything else. “I’m glad there was honey to put in the children’s medicine. I’m not sure they would have drunk this.” She drank all of it without stopping. With a grimace, she handed the cup back to Helen. “Ugh. Do you suppose I could have some apple cider to wash the taste away?”

  “Where do I find it?” Helen stood looking around the wagon. She held onto the chair for support in the moving wagon.

  Joshua still drove for her. She’d have to find a way to thank him for all his help. “On the bottom shelf, there are several jugs. Left side.”

  She turned and faced the shelves. “Oh, I see it. I wish there was room in our wagon for shelves like these. It would make things so much easier.”

  “You have a beautiful family to fill your wagon, Helen. I know you wouldn’t trade that.”

  Helen brought the jug of cider back to the bed and sat in the chair. “You’re right. But I wouldn’t mind a bigger wagon.” She laughed softly, pouring cider into Addie’s cup.

  Already sleep tugged at Addie’s senses again. She took the cup from Helen and drank deeply, savoring the flavor and swishing the liquid around her mouth to wash away the lingering taste of the molasses. She swallowed and fidgeted under Helen’s watchful eye wishing the other woman had something else to do. “There should be another cup on the shelf. Second bin from the top, right side. You should have some.”