Wagonmaster Read online

  “Thank you, I think I will.” She stood, swaying with the movement of the wagon, but walked easily to the shelves and found the cup. “We ran out of cider a couple of weeks ago. The children love it.”

  Addie drank the rest of her cider. “Take a jug back to the children. I have plenty.”

  “Oh, no! I couldn’t. That’s very kind of you, but—”

  “Don’t argue with a sick woman, Helen.” Addie chuckled. “Joshua says we’ll be in Baker City in less than a month. I’ve more than enough cider to last that long.”

  “Hmph. You’re not that sick anymore. Your fever is gone.” She offered a compromise. “Maybe I’ll take a jug in another week or so. You’ll be better able to tell if you’ll have enough, and the children will appreciate it more for having been without it.”

  Addie sighed. “All right. How much longer till we reach the river?”

  “Your husband says we’ll get there tomorrow around noon.” She sipped her own cider now. “He says we’ll rest a few days there. I’m so glad for that.”

  She found it difficult to keep her eyes open. “I just want a bath.”

  “Oh, that would be heavenly, wouldn’t it?”

  “Mmm.” She wasn’t going to be able to stay awake much longer. And she’d be foolish to try. Clearly she needed the rest. Recovery would come more quickly if she slept. “Helen?”

  “Yes, Addie?”

  “Thank you for staying with me.”

  “You’re welcome. I don’t mind at all.” Helen’s voice softened. “I’m happy to be able to return your kindness.”

  Addie closed her eyes. “If you get hungry, there’s some hard tack in one of the bins. First or second from the left, second shelf, I think. And there’s canned peaches.”

  “I had a big lunch, but thank you.”

  The thought of Helen just sitting there watching her sleep unsettled her. “Do you like to read?”

  “Yes, but I don’t find much time for it. The children keep me busy. We sold all of our books before coming west. There wasn’t room for them in the wagon, and we needed the money for supplies.”

  “There are several books in the big trunk where you found the blanket. Some are medical journals, but there are several dime novels and a book of poetry. And then my favorites, Jane Austen and Shakespeare.”

  “Jane Austen? I love her books!”

  Thank goodness. “You read. I’ll sleep.” Addie relaxed, and sleep claimed her immediately.

  * * * *

  Addie remembered being awakened several times to drink more medicine, but she’d slept most of the afternoon. Now Helen prepared to leave. Joshua had raised the curtain and informed them they were stopping for the night.

  “Thank you, Helen.”

  She tied her bonnet and reached for her shawl. “I should be thanking you. Sitting with you reading Pride and Prejudice has been the most restful day I’ve had since we left Missouri.”

  “Take the book. You can read it to the children at night before bed.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t. I—”

  “Take it, Helen. I read it again on the train from Boston to Philadelphia. I’ll read Persuasion if I’m in the mood for Austen.”

  Josh climbed into the wagon. “Austin? Texas?”

  Addie and Helen both laughed. Helen picked up the book. “No, Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice.”

  He grunted. “I like Dickens. Oliver Twist, David Copperfield. I hear he’s got a more recent book. I’d like to get that one. Two Cities, or somethin’ like that.”

  Joshua’s fondness of reading surprised Addie. “A Tale of Two Cities is the title. It’s very good.”

  He smiled at her, and her stomach fluttered in response. “You look like you’re feelin’ better.”

  “I am. Still weak as a kitten, but I do feel better.”

  Helen moved around Joshua toward the end of the wagon. “I’ll be leaving now. Don’t let her overdo. According to instructions she gave me for the children, she should remain in bed at least another day. And then she should rest and nap frequently until she’s fully recovered.”

  Addie groaned. Her words were coming back to haunt her. “I’ll be fine by morning.”

  Josh chuckled. “I’ll be driving the wagon until we reach the river tomorrow. You’ll be in bed.”

  Helen smiled. “Good-night, Addie. Thanks again for the book.”

  “Good-night, Helen.”

  Joshua tipped his hat to her and murmured his thanks. He pulled off his gloves, coat, and hat and sat in the chair next to the bed. “You’ve got some of your color back, but you’re still a little pale.”

  “Thank you for helping me, Joshua.”

  He leaned forward and brushed a kiss across her lips. His eyes held a warm smile. “You had me worried for while there.”

  The tender gesture left her breathless. “Sorry.”

  His big hand covered hers. “Do you feel like you could eat somethin’?”

  “Maybe something light. Can you make potato soup?”

  He pushed a strand of hair off her forehead and caressed her cheek. “Tell me how, and Jimmy can help.”

  “You know, it’s too bad you don’t want to be a husband. You’d make a very good one.”

  His jaw clenched. A cold glint filled his eyes, and his face darkened. “No. I’m a terrible husband.” Curt and unwavering, his tone cut her. “I tried that and failed miserably.” He removed his hand. A chill washed over her from the loss of his touch.

  Addie wanted to take the words back. His mood had changed abruptly. She could almost touch the wall he’d built between them. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…. You needn’t worry. I won’t try to hold you in this marriage. I’ll have the papers filed as soon as we get to Baker City. I promise.”

  He looked away. “You’re a smart woman.”

  An awkward silence hung in the air between them. Addie wasn’t sure how to answer him. Her heart constricted. She’d known from the beginning that any hopes for a relationship with him were foolish at best, but sometimes he looked at her as if he really cared. No. More likely she only saw what she wished to see.

  Addie searched for something to say. The recipe for the soup was the only thing she could find. “Peel the potato and cut it into very small squares. Boil it in about three cups of water with a pinch of salt until the potatoes fall apart. Stir it until most of the lumps are gone. It won’t be very tasty, but it should be easy on the stomach.”

  He nodded and stood. “I’m sure I can manage that. I’ll be back in a little while. Do you need anything?”

  “No. I’m fine. Thank you. I’ll just sleep until you get back.”

  “Good.” He put on his hat and grabbed his coat and gloves. Without looking back at her, he climbed out of the wagon.

  An overwhelming emptiness engulfed her. Fighting back tears, she silently chastised herself for her foolish words. But she had about three more weeks and she would make the most of it. She’d spend every moment she could in his arms. Addie renewed her resolve and reminded herself never to refer to Joshua as her husband. And above all, never to speak of their future. Her future would not include Joshua Reynolds.

  * * * *

  Addie held the bowl out to Joshua. “I can’t eat any more.”

  He took it and frowned at what remained. “You didn’t even eat half of it.”

  “I’ll eat the rest for breakfast in the morning.”

  He put the dish on the shelf and covered it with a towel. “Are you ready to sleep?”

  A heavy sigh escaped her. “That’s all I’ve done the entire day.”

  Hands on his hips, he scowled at her.

  She hurried to pacify him. “But I suppose that sleeping is the best way to speed my recovery.”

  “Good girl.” He grabbed his coat and hat. “I’m goin’ to make one more round of the wagons. I’ll be back in a little while.”

  Addie tried to rest for a time but soon realized she needed to relieve herself. Slowly, she sat up, grateful most of the dizzin
ess had eased. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and carefully stood up. Taking a deep breath, she waited for the lightheaded sensation to pass. She bent to pull the chamber pot from under the bed. The motion caused the wooziness to return, and this time, nausea accompanied the feeling. She swallowed hard and fought back the urge to spill her supper into the pot.

  It took her three tries, but she finally managed to use the pot and put it back. She stood up. And everything turned black.

  * * * *

  “Addie! Addie, wake up.”

  He lifted her and settled her on the bed. She tried to open her eyes.

  “Addie? Are you all right?” Panic edged his words. “Did you hurt yourself?”

  “Joshua? What happened?”

  “Damnation, woman! I don’t know what happened. I came back and found you on the floor. What were you doing out of bed?” He pulled the blankets over her.

  “Oh.” She shivered. “I had to use the chamber pot.”

  “And you couldn’t wait until I got back?” A tangible fury filled the air.

  “I…well, I just thought—”

  “You weren’t thinkin’ at all. Did you hurt yourself?” He examined her head and her arms.

  “No. I’m fine.” Addie tried to find a way to distract him. “I’m thirsty.”

  The muscles in his jaw clenched, but he stopped and reached for a cup. “Here.”

  She drank the remainder of the cider in it. Addie handed it back to him and tried to look contrite. “Thank you, Joshua.”

  “Do you still need to use the pot?”

  “No, I finished before….” She waved her hand in the air, wanting to dismiss what had happened afterward.

  He wouldn’t let her forget. “Before you fainted and nearly killed yourself?” He removed his hat and coat and threw them toward the trunk.

  “Really, Joshua. I didn’t fall that far. The worst I could have done was bump my head, but nothing happened.”

  “No, that’s not the worst. You could’ve knocked over the lamp and burned yourself. You could have been killed! You should’ve waited for me to help you.” He pointed his finger at her. “You’re not to get out of that bed again without my help.” His tone brooked no argument. It was an order. “Is that clear?”

  Anger renewed her strength. She sat up, ready for battle. “I beg your pardon! I’ll do as I please.”

  Suddenly, he leaned over her, his arms on either side of her, his nose almost touching hers. “You’ll stay in this damned bed, or I’ll tie you down.”

  Warm breath tickled her lips. She wanted to argue with him, but the anger and rebellion left her. She lifted her chin and pressed her lips against his. For a moment, she thought he would pull away, but his arms came around her. Lifting her hands, she pushed them beneath the collar of his shirt to touch his skin. So warm.

  She parted her lips and touched her tongue to his lips. He growled and opened his mouth, kissing her thoroughly. His tongue explored and caressed her lips. It took her breath away. She leaned into him and begged for more.

  He pulled away too soon. “Addie….” The anger in his voice disappeared. A low, husky tone replaced it. He straightened and rubbed his hand over his face. “Go to sleep, darlin’.” Sitting in the chair he reached for his boot and removed one, then the other.

  Her disappointment at his withdrawal eased. He was staying. He removed his socks and started unbuttoning his shirt.

  His dark brown eyes met hers. “You were supposed to be asleep by the time I got back.”

  She shrugged. “I was. You woke me up.”

  He laughed. “You weren’t supposed to be sleepin’ on the floor. Now lie down. Sleep.”

  She settled herself against her pillow, but she continued to watch him undress, still fascinated by the rippling muscles on his chest and abdomen. Standing again, he removed his shirt and pants. Sadly, his long underwear remained in place.

  He lifted the edge of the covers. “Scoot over, sweetheart.”

  Addie moved and turned on her side to face him to give him plenty of room to lie down. He slid under the covers and stretched his arm over the pillow. “Come here.”

  She laid her head on his shoulder and snuggled next to him. “Mmmm. You’re so warm.”

  Her hand rested on his chest, and he covered it with his own. “And you’re cold as ice.” He pulled her closer, rested his cheek against the top of her head, and rubbed her back.

  “Not anymore.” A sigh of utter contentment escaped her. This was exactly where she wished to be: in Joshua’s arms, next to him, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

  * * * *

  The motion of the wagon stopped. Addie sat up, lifted the canvas, and peered up at Joshua. “Have we reached the river?”

  He tied the reins to the rail. “Yes. We’re at the river. Fresh water and rest. Just what our lovely lady doctor has ordered.”

  “Ordered? I’m quite certain I never ordered anything. I simply suggested.” She knew that her suggestion had been nearly a demand. Only days ago she’d told him adamantly, “This train needs fresh water and rest if we are to survive the cholera.”

  “That’s not how I remember it, but I won’t argue with you. I’m too relieved to be here.” He stood and turned to climb down.

  Addie laughed. “So am I. The flapjack batter is ready, and I sliced some potatoes to fry.”

  Joshua stopped. His lips thinned, and his brows drew together. “You were supposed to be restin’.”

  “I did rest.” She tried to ignore his irritation. “For almost the entire morning.”

  He shook his head and muttered a curse.

  She placated him. “Don’t fuss. It wasn’t strenuous to sit on the bed and slice potatoes or stir batter. I was careful not to tire myself.”

  Looking skyward, he mumbled under his breath and began unhitching the oxen. She couldn’t make out the words, but he clearly disapproved of her efforts to prepare a small meal. He’d no doubt fight her if she tried to start a fire. Instead of climbing out of the wagon, she poured yet another cup of cider and drank deeply. She felt better and better. The extra fluids she’d had this morning helped. Dehydration had been the cause of her weakness and dizziness. The more fluids her body reclaimed, the faster she improved. She still needed to rest frequently, but complete bed rest was no longer necessary. If only she could convince Joshua.

  Part of her wanted to do as she pleased. Her independent nature urged her to ignore his domineering commands. He had no right to tell her what she could and couldn’t do. He wasn’t truly her husband. But her conscience reminded her again and again that she was in his debt. She wouldn’t be here, so close to seeing her father, if it weren’t for him. He’d driven her wagon and taken care of her while she was ill.

  For now, she’d submit to his wishes. But she didn’t know how long she’d tolerate his control. She simply wasn’t a woman accustomed to allowing someone else to make decisions for her. Addie enjoyed her independence. And though she owed Joshua Reynolds a great deal, she drew the line at blind obedience.

  She sat on the bed, drinking her cup of cider and waiting for Joshua to finish with the oxen. Only a few moments passed before the canvas lifted.

  He stepped into the wagon and looked at her, his face stern with disapproval. “Why are you dressed?”

  She clenched her teeth to keep from snapping at him. “It’s too cold to cook in my nightgown.”

  “You won’t be cooking. You’ll be in bed until tomorrow.” She stood and tried to speak, but he shook his finger at her. “And tomorrow you will take several naps and rest often, just like you’ve instructed everyone else to do.”

  It irritated her to have her own words used against her. “I have been resting, and I promise not to overdo it, but if I don’t get out of the wagon I’ll go crazy. I want some fresh air and I need to walk around a little. I feel like I’m in jail!”

  He took two long strides and stood before Addie, gently placing his hands on her shoulders. “I know it’s hard,
darlin’, but I need you to get well.”

  “I am. Look at me. Can’t you tell how much better I feel?”

  “Yes, I can see you’re getting better. But you’re still pale. And that tells me you should follow your own advice and rest.” He tweaked her nose.

  Damn him. She wouldn’t allow him to treat her like a child. The tip of her finger poked his chest. “Joshua, I am a grown woman and if I want to cook or take a walk or anything else, I will do as I please.”

  His lips captured hers, taking her breath away. He nibbled and sucked while his hands roamed over her back and down to her hips. He was obviously trying to distract her, but even knowing that, she couldn’t resist the need he aroused in her. Her hands found the nape of his neck, and she kissed him back. She pressed her body into his.

  Joshua pulled her hips tightly against his own and deepened the kiss. All thought fled her mind. Blood pounded in her ears, and a searing heat spread through her. Too soon he ended the kiss, but his lips traced her jaw and throat, and the brim of his hat brushed against her hair.

  He bent, lifted her, and settled her on the bed. His mouth found hers once more for another shattering kiss while his hands reached under the hem of her skirt and removed her boots. Warmth pooled in her lower belly, and she arched her body seeking more contact with his.

  Chapter Thirteen

  His incredible mouth left hers, and a whimper escaped her. Joshua straightened and pushed himself off the bed. Addie waited impatiently for him to remove his shirt, but he made no move to undress. He sighed deeply and cleared his throat before turning away.

  “Joshua?”

  He grabbed the pan of sliced potatoes and the flapjack batter. “Jimmy will cook this for us, and you can come outside to eat. I’ll be back for you when lunch is ready.”

  Confusion and dismay gave way to anger at the realization of what he’d done to get her to go back to bed. “Damn you, Reynolds!” Sitting up, she grabbed the first thing she could find and threw it at him. The tin cup bounced against the canvas and clattered to the floor. His deep, rumbling chuckle floated to her.